Lost and Found
by The Muses of Mars
Summary: Personal items begin disappearing. When the Chocobros discover who's been stealing from them, a surprising secret comes to light. (Rating for some strong language.)


"Are we all set?" Ignis asked, fastening his seatbelt as they prepared to depart. The four men had just enjoyed a decent continental breakfast in their hotel lobby and gotten checked out of their room, and were about to get back on the road.

"Aye, aye, Cap'n!" Gladio called from the back seat of the Regalia.

Ignis turned the key in the ignition, then smoothly backed the car out of its parking space. Once he'd shifted the gear into drive and started across the lot, Prince Noctis stretched his arm around the side of the driver's seat and offered Ignis a drink. "Fuel for the road, Specs?"

"I thank you," Ignis said, accepting the cold iced coffee can. He placed it in the drink holder between the two front seats and then reached into his breast pocket for his can opener. He had nearly reached the end of the parking lot and was about to turn onto the highway when he realized he didn't have the opener. His pocket was empty.

The car rolled to a complete stop.

"Something wrong?" Gladio asked, placing a hand on the shoulder of Ignis's seat as he leaned forward warily.

"Just…misplaced something, I think." Ignis shifted the gear into park and arched his buttocks off his seat to check all four pockets of his slacks. "…Noct?" he called to the boy behind him, "Would you mind searching my jacket pockets for my can opener?"

The prince lifted the carefully folded coat from its resting place in the middle of the back seat and rummaged for the missing item, but found nothing. "Sorry, Iggy," he said with a shrug. "I got nothin'." He wadded the jacket unceremoniously and set it back down between himself and Gladio.

Ignis frowned at the prince's reflection in the mirror with mild annoyance at the mistreatment of his expensive coat. "I must have left it back in our room." He put the car in drive again, turning the wheel sharply. "I'll just have to go back and search for it."

Everyone else groaned at the delay; they had a lot of ground to cover today, and the sooner they set off, the better.

Prompto was sullen. "Can't you just…use your fingers?" he asked.

"Yeah," Noct added, "like everybody else?"

Ignis's eyes narrowed. "Now, see here. I saved up 3,000 Ebony Points to earn the bloody thing, and I'm not leaving without it." He pulled into an empty space close to the hotel door, then climbed out of the car with a haughty huff.

"Well," Gladio grunted. "Guess he sure showed us."

* * *

Ignis made quick strides down the carpeted hallway back to the hotel room he and the others had just vacated. He was so perplexed as to where he might have left his precious can opener—and miffed at the boys' teasing—he forgot to ask the front desk for the room key. A key proved to be unnecessary, however, as the maids had the door propped open while they tidied the room and changed the linens.

A plump woman with an armload of fresh towels was just inside the doorway. She caught sight of Ignis on her way into the bathroom and paused, looking at him questioningly.

"Erm, excuse me, madam," Ignis said, stepping up to the doorway. "You see, I've just checked out of this room, but I believe I left my can opener somewhere inside…"

"What?" The woman made a face. She couldn't hear him over the sound of the other maid vacuuming.

If there was anything Ignis despised, it was raised voices indoors, but it appeared he had no choice. Clearing his throat, he spoke a little louder. "I need to look around the room. I need to—"

"No," the woman said sternly, shaking her head. She pointed back down the hallway with a stack of folded washcloths in her hand. "You have to check in at the lobby, sir. THE. LOBBY! Go to the front desk, okay?"

"No, I'm not checking in. I just want my can opener. _My…can…opener."_ He gestured at the room, but he wasn't getting through to her. She shook her head again and blocked his path from entering the room.

Ignis was as embarrassed by that point as he was frustrated, so with a dismissive wave of his hand, he let the maids get back to their work and left the hotel empty-handed.

* * *

"Did you find it?" Noctis asked when Ignis returned to the car.

Ignis reclaimed the driver's seat and answered grumpily, "No, I did not."

Even if it was just a silly can opener, Noct felt a little bad for Ignis. Ebony was hard to come by these days, so it would take a long, long time for him to save up another 3,000 points. And by then the rewards would likely have changed. The prince leaned forward and reached for the coffee can, opening it and then setting it back into the cup holder.

Ignis finally pulled out of the hotel parking lot and got onto the main road. He had meant to sulk for a little while longer, but the scent of the coffee was strong and made him crave a taste, so he finally reached down for the can and lifted it to his lips for a satisfying drink.

"Hey, Noct," Gladio said after they'd been driving for a little while, "have you seen my sunglasses?"

"Am I _your_ keeper now?" Noct rolled his eyes. "You lost them _again?_ Are you serious?"

Gladio glowered. "Just answer the question, punk, and don't give me sass."

"No," Noct retorted, "I haven't seen your fucking sunglasses."

"Language, Highness," Ignis chided the boy, though gently. "It's unbecoming of your station to use such vulgarity."

"Ignis?"

"…Yes?"

"Kiss my ass."

Gladio reached down for the black backpack at Noct's feet and started digging through it.

"Uh, excuse me?" Noct grabbed for the bag and pulled it away from him. "That's my stuff."

"Yeah," Gladio grunted, "and my sunglasses are missing."

"I told you I don't have them! Keep your hands off my shit."

"Can't you just…buy another pair?" Prompto offered weakly.

"He buys another pair every time we stop for gas," Ignis muttered. "Surely you have half a dozen by now, at least, Gladio…"

"I do, but they keep disappearing." Gladio crossed his arms over his chest and sank down in his seat resentfully. "Noct, why don't you lend me your ball cap?"

"No way!" the prince refused. "You'll just stretch it out on your fat head."

"Why, you little—"

"H-how 'bout some music?" Prompto suggested, quickly turning on the stereo to help ease the tension.

"How about the morning news," Ignis countered. He switched the station without asking.

Prompto's face fell even further, but he didn't argue. No one else did, either; they could all tell by his tone Ignis was in a sour mood, and nobody wanted to provoke him.

Noct pulled his backpack into his lap and unzipped the front pouch to find his earbuds. He wasn't interested in listening to newscasters drone on and on, but he had a new Ice Cold Chilly Cactuars album he'd downloaded onto his cell phone that he'd been eager to listen to. His fingers brushed past the soft fabric of a plush keychain souvenir he'd picked up at the Moogle Chocobo Carnival last month and he heard the crackle of the wrapper of a half-eaten candy bar he'd forgotten he had. But Noct couldn't find the familiar black cords he was looking for.

"Hey—has anyone seen my earbuds?"

"Uh-uh," Gladio replied.

Ignis answered, "Afraid not, Highness."

Prompto remained silent.

"Juuust great." Noct shoved his bag out of his lap in frustration. "Goddamn it."

* * *

The long day was spent driving through a remote desert. There wasn't much to look at and cell service was sketchy, but at least after they moved out of range of the radio news station and Ignis allowed Prompto to put a CD on, the tension between the four men eased. With the top rolled down, they settled in for a comfortable cruise with the wind blowing through their hair and cooling them from the sun's baking heat.

Civilization was sparse, and by the time evening was approaching, when no outpost was in sight, the group decided to pull over and make camp.

Pitching the tent was the first order of business. Ignis had found that if he filled everyone's bellies with his cooking beforehand, the others would be too sleepy and satisfied to do more than crawl into their sleeping bags under an open sky, which wasn't necessarily the safest way to sleep.

Once their accommodations had been arranged and everyone had claimed a corner of the tent for their personal belongings, Prompto and Gladio went searching for firewood while Noct arranged their lawn chairs around what would soon become their campfire. Ignis tried to get some input on what the prince might like for dinner, but the apathetic boy was as indecisive as always, so it would be the chef's choice once again tonight.

Ignis climbed into the tent to retrieve the grocery bag containing his carefully-selected ingredients. He took pride in his cooking, and enjoying his homemade meals while camping had become the other men's favorite part of the day.

Since they had just left a town which had a plentiful grocer, Ignis had been able to stock up on plenty of fresh produce. The bag was filled to overflowing, and he could hardly see above the ripe Lucian tomatoes and a protruding bundle of fine cleigne wheat. His foot caught on something and he stumbled, catching himself but accidentally knocking the object over in the process.

With a mild oath, Ignis set the grocery bag down just inside the tent opening and turned to pick up whatever had tripped him. It turned out to have been the strap of Prompto's backpack, its contents now scattered all over the tent floor.

Ignis righted the bag and knelt to gather up everything that had spilled up. But his hand stalled when he recognized the Ebony logo emblazoned across the face of a familiar can opener.

* * *

"I've discovered the culprit!" Ignis boldly declared, storming over to the campfire. Gladio and Noctis looked up in surprise, but Prompto's face reflected his panic when he saw Ignis waving his backpack in the air like a trophy. "Fellows," Ignis announced, "we've a thief in our midst!"

"Ignis, wait!" Prompto pleaded. But without further ado, Ignis overturned the army green backpack and shook it, spilling out a myriad of trinkets which included a scuffed whistle, a well-worn notepad, several collectible coins, a skull pendant on a silver chain, half a dozen pairs of sunglasses, and the tangled cords of a pair of earbuds.

"What gives?" Gladio asked, staring down at the pile in confusion.

"You _knew_ I was looking for these!" Noct shouted as he grabbed up his earbuds protectively. "It was you all this time? What the hell, man! Not cool."

"My special can opener? My recipe book? Prompto, how dare you!" Ignis cried indignantly. "Explain yourself this instant or else—" He struggled to determine an appropriate punishment. "Or else come morning we'll leave you here!"

"Don't be dramatic," Gladio said gruffly, placing a hand on Prompto's shoulder. "Just let him talk."

All eyes turned to the freckled blond. Prompto's cheeks were red with shame, the periwinkle of his irises swimming behind a sea of regretful tears. "S-sometimes I just…take things." The others' gazes turned a bit hostile as they waited for a proper explanation. "I don't know why!" Prompto cried. "I just…collect stuff from you guys."

"Couldn't you just ask to borrow it?" Noct sighed. "And, you know…give our stuff back when we need it?"

Prompto shook his head helplessly. "But I don't mean to do it! It's not like I plan to take your things. I just…I just do." Tears spilled over his flushed cheeks. "I'm sorry! I feel so guilty, but I just can't help myself. I don't know why."

"Wonderful," Ignis grumbled. "Prompto is a rampaging kleptomaniac."

"Yeah," Gladio sighed, "but he's a _cute_ , rampaging kleptomaniac." He ruffled the blond's hair affectionately.

Prompto let out a sob, trembling under their scrutiny. He had never felt so ashamed.

"Well," Noctis sighed, "it's not like he was out pawning our stuff for gil. It was in his bag the whole time." He stepped nearer to Prompto and laid a comforting hand on the boy's shoulder.

"That is true," Ignis agreed, coming closer so he could drape an arm around him in a forgiving hug. "There, there now… No need for tears."

Prompto sniffled while the other men pet him and pardoned him for his crimes. "You mean you aren't mad? You're not going to leave me here all alone?"

Ignis gave him a faint smile. "All is forgiven; I'm just happy to have my can opener back."

"You guys!" Prompto beamed. "You're the best friends a guy could ever have."

"Now enough of this mush," Ignis said sternly, clapping Prompto on the back before lowering his arm.

"Yeah," Gladio agreed, hugging Prompto possessively to his side. "Let's eat."

Ignis adjusted his glasses. "If anyone can tell me where my measuring cups are, I'll get to work straight away."

Everyone looked at Prompto suspiciously.

The blond shrugged. "Search me!"

"Get him!" Noct shouted, and all three of them tackled Prompto to the ground.


End file.
